I remember when I was very young I used to dream that one day I would meet my prince charming. That one day he would take me away, love me, spoil me and grant every wish I had, and that we would live happily ever after.
I grew up on fairy tales and M&B novels!
It is everyoneís desire to have a life partner, a companion to share his/her life, dreams, joy and sorrow with. And I was no different in nurturing this desire. Every time I attended any wedding I used to wonder when it would be my turn; when would I become a bride. Most importantly: where the hell is he, my prince charming?
Time passed by and still there was no prince charming in sight! I resigned myself to the bitter fact that I am doomed to spend the rest of my life alone, without love. Being physically disabled I didnít want to be a burden on anyone, especially as a financial burden. I threw myself in my career, secretly holding on to the assumption that there is someone out there for everyone. Besides, Allah in the Holy Quran says: ďAmong His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think.Ē [30:21]
There is someone out there for me also. My prince charming will come. When? Then I met this falcon-eyed man with the most beautiful voice I had ever heard. With just one meeting I had slipped, stumbled and fallen head over heels in love with him! He was everything in a man that I wanted and much, much more.
Here was this stranger, who for the first time in my life took me for myself. He did not treat or consider me as a disabled person who is to be pitied. He saw me for who I was and not what I was. He was really without any reservations and without any fears with me as regards to my disability.
We both clicked instantly. I really liked him and would wait eagerly for his call or a signal that I should call him. I was addicted to his voice. I would get cranky if I didn't talk to him before going to work, at work and after getting off from work. He was like an artificial oxygen cylinder that needed be changed at regular intervals for survival.
We couldnít meet as I was based in the capital and he in Karachi. Long distance romance can be frustrating. I thought about him all the time. I didn't want to lose his friendship. I wanted to share his friendship, thoughts, goof offs, and life. I wanted to be everything to him. We expressed our growing feelings for each other and talked about the need to act responsibly since we both had our families.
Finally I proposed and he rejected! I was determined to marry him, come hell or high water. Every single person that I knew was opposed to our marriage. I couldn't comprehend how come the people who I loved the most were so opposed to us getting married. The only person that totally supported us from the moment he heard we were getting married, was my eldest brother. There were no objections to our marriage from Kawishís family.
We eventually married without the great pomp and fanfare and ostentatious display associated with Pakistani weddings, which are mostly held as a show of status, wealth and to increase oneís prestige in the family instead of blessing the couple. Alhamdolillah we have been married for almost 18 months and not once in all this time have I regretted my decision to willingly marry a man who was already married with children.
The characteristics that I looked for in my life partner did not hinge upon his appearance or physical prowess but in his inner self. The qualities I considered most important were honesty, loyalty, and kindness. I wanted a companion who was honest about his emotions or feelings on a subject. I wanted a mate who would tell me how he feels even if it might hurt my feelings. I wanted a man who would be loyal to me, someone who would stick by me when my beliefs were on the line even if it meant he would also be scorned by the majority. I wanted a person who was the epitome of kindness; a person who would go well out of his way to see a sick friend, help a person in need and someone who would comfort a friend or a relative in their hour of tribulation.
Kawish is all this and much, much more. The more time I spend with him, the more I look at him, his smile, the twinkle in his eyes, and every single small and big thing he does, not just for me but for everyone close to his heart, I fall in love with him more. Yes, it is possible to fall in love over and over again when that person happens to be like my prince charming.
I know it sounds crazy but when I see him dealing and controlling his children, I want to be a child so that I too can be the recipient of his parental love. When he interacts with his friends and colleagues, I long to be his friend and share that camaraderie that he has with his peers. And when I see his easy friendship and loving brotherly care and affection for his sister, I get jealous. Not in the negative sense, but in an unexplainable way and automatically my heart whispers a prayer for their continuing love and affection.
Most men consider it far beneath their dignity to help their wives in household chores and play any sort of game with them, and their marriages are the duller and poorer for it. Not so my Kawish. He helps me in my household chores, and we even play games when there is time. At first I used to object to his helping me with my chores, now my objection is just a token protest.
My husband is one of the most amazing people I know. After all, he puts up with me! I couldnít ask for a more caring, loving man and for someone who has such a desire to take care of me and just share life with me in general. He holds me in such high esteem that sometimes I wonder what I did in my life to deserve such a husband. Even when we were dating, technically speaking, he had placed me on the highest pedestal and I was afraid that I might not live up to his expectations and high regard. After our marriage his respect, admiration, and esteem has not diminished one tiny bit. It has only increased manifolds. His respect for my intelligence and understanding is also reflected in his readiness to consult with me and respond to my advice.
I respect my husband not because I am afraid of him or out of hypocrisy, but out of genuine admiration and love. I honestly donít know what Iíd do without him. Itís too scary to think about. Iíd die if anything ever happened to him. I have spent the happiest years of my life with Kawish. I could not have gotten a better and more loving husband. He is my husband, my best friend, my confidant, and the person who allows me to be me. He is my soul mate. He is the being I want to spend the rest of my life with. And also as his wife in the Hereafter.
I am no poet who can write a love ode to my Kawish. I am just a simple ordinary girl loving an extraordinary man. All I can do is write the lyrics of Celine Dionís famous song ďBecause You Loved MeĒ as this song just about says how I feel about my husband and what Iím because of him. With all due respect to Celine, I would like to quote the lyrics.
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
Iíll be forever thankful baby,
Youíre the one who held me up, never let me fall
Youíre the one who saw me through, through it all.
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldnít speak
You were my eyes when I couldnít see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldnít reach
You gave me faith because you believed
Iím everything Iím because you loved me.
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
Ií m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I donít know that much, but I know this much is true, I was blessed because
I was loved by you.