Longing to Be a Mom, by Savaira Kawish

BY SAVAIRA KAWISH

“Mama!” is the most precious words on the lips of a child. The first utterance of the word fills a mother’s heart with bliss, untold joy. It’s the most amazing experience in life. Tears of happiness roll down the cheek. Words can’t express such feelings. This word is a milestone in a child’s life that every mother relishes. It is a word that every girl hopes to hear. But most of all, it is a word that every woman crave to hear. At least once in a lifetime for a baby brings untold joys in the life of a mother.

From the days of Eve women have been having babies. They have been given this divine gift that makes them so precious. It is a gift that women are proud of. A mother is nature’s great blessing to mankind. The experience of having a baby is beyond words.

Some women, however, were overlooked when the gift was handed out. Some women haven’t been given this gift yet. They are yet to experience the physical and emotional changes that take place as a new life takes form inside them. They are longing to be a mom. I’m one of those women.

As far as I remember I had always wanted to have babies. Not just a baby but babies. I love my husband so very dearly and I have such a yearning to cradle our baby. The anticipation of bringing forth a new life is wonderful. And I want to have my share of this expectancy. I want to look at the fuzzy hair and the tender smile as he nurses for the first time. I long to
touch his tiny hands and tender feet, and nestle his soft head in the crook of my neck. I want to wake up in the middle of the night to a screaming baby. I want to talk baby talk. I want to hold my child in my lap and lull him to sleep.

I want to look into my child’s eyes and see the whole world. I want to see my husband asleep on the couch with the baby on his chest. I want to share the joy and wonder with my husband as our baby takes his first step. But most of all, I long to hear his little voice calling: “Mama, Mama” while drool drips onto his chin in his excitement at making the sound.

I want a baby more than ever!!! I feel as if there is something missing in my life. It’s as if I am not a complete person, an inadequate woman. Having a child of my own will complete me as a woman. At last my dream was fulfilled. I was going to be a mom! I was over the moon. I was prioritizing my life which was going to revolve around the baby. My dream was
pulverized within few days of finding out I was pregnant. It’s been almost two years since my miscarriage. It is still a shock to the system. I am still trying to come to terms with the physical anguish and emotional pain. The raging of motions cannot be explained. My angel would have been two years old by now.

As time goes by my yearning has become more intense. I can feel my biological clock ticking away. It’s not all doom and gloom though, I’ve always remained hopeful and that hasn’t changed. I am optimistic that we can (and will) get pregnant and have a baby. But right now, my arms are empty.

Review or comment on Longing to Be a Mom –

Reviews:

Excellent! A very good beginning and end. An emotional piece that makes one cry at the loss of such women. My prayers are with Savaira and I sincerely hope her arms do not remain empty. – Ubaid 5/14/09

A very beautiful, emotional article. I cried a lot while reading it. If I am to rate this article, I would rate it 10/10. Please convey my appreciation to the writer. Wish her all the best and hope to read more such articles from her.

– Aly 5/14/09